Its in the air!!!

This morning, as I walked out my front door to take my oldest to school and my 13yo to the doctor to have his arm checked, I was confronted with a chill in the air that almost made me turn around and change from shorts to jeans, despite the fact that I knew it would likely turn warmer in the afternoon, which it did. And of course, it had me wishing I didn't live surrounded by evergreen trees, so I could watch the leaves change colours through my living room windows.  But instead, we have live oaks and pines all around, but it still makes me positively giddy knowing that Autumn is finally here! :D

Tomorrow we'll be laying Mama to rest in a lovely green cemetery not too far from the property she and my dad have owned for about 10 years now, and where she has lived almost completely full-time for at least the last 2 years.  I still miss her every day, and have difficulty believing she's really gone, that she's not just a text or a phone call away.  The next few days/ weeks/ months are going to be very difficult for our family, as we all try to pull together to take care of Daddy in mom's absence.  I don't think even he realized how very much he depended on her being there to take care of him, he is totally lost without her.  It breaks my heart in a way I never in my wildest dreams thought it would.  I just keep thinking, if I'm this lost without her, he must be 100 times worse.  So we're all chipping in our time, and even nights with our families, to help make sure Daddy is still comfortable and taken care of.

There simply are no words...

This has been a long, time for me...  Last Wednesday my mom fell from her bed and my father and I had a very difficult time getting her off the floor.  We called an ambulance to take her to the ER, thinking it was a medication reaction, but it turned out to be something much simpler, yet at the same time much worse.  Mom spend the last week and more on several different wards at the hospital before quietly passing on yesterday.  I've been a complete wreck (I'm the youngest, and for the last year I've been the one taking care of her), and didn't think it would ever stop hurting.  It still hurts, it hurts so much I can hardly stand it, but this morning I woke up feeling a sense of calm for a few minutes.  It was a very strange feeling, but I think I kinda like it.  I know I'm going to miss her.  She and I texted almost constantly, and there have already been several instance today alone that I have wanted to text her something funny that I saw or that happened.  This is going to be very difficult, but this morning it feels like it may be ever so slightly more bearable.  I think it hit me so hard because I was so certain she was going to get better.  She would never be 100%, she had too many medical ailments for that, but at least back to where she was before all this.  I'm not looking forward to the next few days/ weeks/ months/ years, but I've been told it gets better/ easier, so I really hope that's true.  I guess I'm just still in shock...

Truth

I'm good at a lot of things, or so I've been told.  In fact, my mother recently told someone that I'm a wonderful mother and an amazing cook.  The problem?  I hate to clean.  Passionately.  In my nearly-40 years, this has never changed.  In fact, years ago I tried to convince myself that the opposite was true, but it never stuck.  As the youngest of 6 kids, I learned very early on that if I left my mess as it was for long enough, eventually someone else, (typically my mother) would clean it up for me.  Of course, this really doesn't WORK in the real world, there the only person to clean up after you is you.  This is a problem when you're like I am, but at this stage in the game, I don't know if it can be changed, or more to the point, if I even _WANT_ it to change.

Blogging...

Blogging is difficult.  It's especially difficult when you don't have Internet.  Then, when you finally GET Internet and can start blogging again, you discover that your Blogger app hates you, and won't let you edit what you write.  Ever.  And that just adds to the difficulty of blogging.  I guess it really doesn't matter, since I have no followers, if I go a year or more between posts, but I really was hoping that wouldn't happen to this blog.  Well, it did, though not quite a year this time, but regardless, I'm hoping to start blogging more regularly.  Yes, my Blogger app still hates me, but I can always write in a notepad file, then copy and paste to the app, can't I?  So, here's to hoping I manage to start blogging more than once every 6 months or so!  :)

So...

Things are going along very well for us lately!  The kids are doing well, I'm doing as much as I can whenever I can, and helping my mom out.  Except now though, while my parents are out of town, I'm still spending more time at their house than I am at my own, which makes me feel rather like I'm neglecting my oldest, who refuses to take the bus to my parents house and instead spends the afternoons taking care of our animals, which I guess is good since I don't generally get home in the evenings until fairly late.  But that's the price I'm paying for agreeing to help my mom.  And of course, taking care of their farm while they're gone, as they are likely to be for a while this trip.  Mom's fairly bad off, and the doctor doesn't think it's wise for her to be traveling 400+ miles each direction between homes, so they're staying at their other house until she's a bit better and more fit to travel.  And while I love staying at their house when they're not here, it gets fairly tiring...  Especially since I can't do any crafting while I'm at my parents, due to all of my supplies being at my own house!  But I'll figure it out.  I just hope my sister doesn't decide to invade again.  I only just finished cleaning up after her last two nights here turned into nearly a week!  😝. But that's all for now.  I need to get going and head home, but right now, I'm watching my sweet little boy enjoy a cup of hot cocoa with whipped cream, and for now, that's all I need to worry about.  ☺️  He really does enjoy his whipped cream!  lol

Hmm...

It's been quite a while since my last update, but since I'm fairly certain no one reads this anyway, I'll not apologize for that.  

Right now, I am sitting in the very spacious master suite of a lovely resort in Orlando, Florida. Why, you may ask? Simply because my parents had the foresight to buy the last week of the year several years ago, and then got a dog, so they no longer use the thing.  But rather than sell it, they hold it for us kids to use as we wish. And we definitely wish to enjoy it this year! ☺️ My parents decided to get my entire family, all five of us, passes to Universal Studios, Florida!!!  And not cheapy-cheap passes either! They got us year-round passes with free parking and no black-out dates! From parents who are constantly complaining about having no money, this was definitely a surprise, too! So once the husband goes back to his home on Monday night/ Tuesday morning (he has to work on Tuesday, 😕) we will be heading to the park to see all the wonderful sites. I'm hoping there's not a huge line at "The Wizarding World of Harry Potter", because the kids all want to go there! Of course I'll take pictures, and hopefully I'll even remember to upload them, too! ☺️  But regardless, this is a week for family fun, to forget about all the troubles we have to deal with on a daily basis, and to just enjoy being US.

I'm really hoping that we have a great time, and not a stupid, boring, mediocre time, which would really stink, but if my older sister has her way, that is EXACTLY what is going to happen.  She is here too, of course, and she ALWAYS tries to take over EVERYTHING, especially where my kids are involved!  But I have a plan! It's called "let her walk ahead of us and go one way, them we take off in the opposite direction!" lol Seriously, I love my sister, I really do, but she is SOOO controlling! You've no idea, unless you happen to have an older sister like mine.  Then you know all too well!  :)

And so that's all for now! With the hubs here I don't have to cook a single thing until Tuesday, so I am going to enjoy my wine, my chocolates (gotta love half-off Christmas candy sales! lol), and relative silence, huh?  And who knows, maybe I'll start feeling ambitious and post a recipe or two once I start cooking again.  ☺️

Well...

So, it's been hectic and crazy for me, trying to get things done in the house, not go crazy with the kids, pay bills, make it to after school activities, etc., etc., etc., but I'm trying my best.  And it seems that things are actually going fairly well for us.  The kids have been behaving much better than they have in the last few years, they actually do the things that they're told to do, even the Eldest, who has almost NEVER done as he was told, much to my surprise and excessive pleasure.  My Wee Boy is still having some problems with school, and we're trying to get him the help he needs to figure out why he keeps having the problems he's having, and my Wee Girl is...  Well, she's still herself, and nothing about her has changed.  lol  I haven't synced my phone, which is currently my only camera, to the computer in a while, so I have no pictures to share yet, but I'm hoping I will soon, as there are a lot that I would love to share!  But for now, that is all, and I'll try to write more often than once a month!  :)