Surprise!

Well, seeing as how the cat’s out of the proverbial bag, and it’s been announced officially, I can post about it here.  It seems my son and his fiancée are expecting number 2 this coming October.  Of course, we are all excited, and wish her the very best, and hopefully she won’t have the same horrible hyperemesis gravidarium she had last time.  Oh, she was MISERABLE her last pregnancy, as she could barely hold anything down!  And she also didn’t even have the joy of a baby belly to show for it.  Even though my beautiful grandbaby was a healthy weight and a good length, her mama barely showed at all!  

But this time, it’s looking like she’s NOT going to have to deal with the horrible vomiting, and she might even show this time.  She’s only a few weeks along (6 or 7, to be exact), but already has a tiny bump going on.  And believe it or not, she’s excited to get a big ol’ pregnant belly.  She said she felt like she missed out on something not having one the first time.  lol

So, when she found out she was pregnant, as I did with my oldest, she said, “Baby, mama’s got a new baby in her belly.  Is it a boy or a girl baby?”  And my sweet Flower said, “Oh mommy, is girl baby!”  So now we just have to wait a few weeks and see if her prediction is as spot on as her father’s was.  But whatever she has, we’ll all be happy so long as s/he’s healthy and has no complications.  But that’s all for today from up here in the wilds of northern Florida!  Have a great one!

Sometimes I feel like it would be nice to have friends that I can talk to about anything.  As it stands right now, my one real friend lives over 300 miles away, and we rarely talk anymore, likely because of the distance between us, as well as familial and social obligations.  So I have no one to go to when I’m having a problem with one of my kids (lately it’s the Oldest I’m having problems with...), or when I just need to vent about something that’s just really irritated me.  Sure, I talk to people all the time, but I don’t always manage to do more than listen with most of them.  They call me to complain about their own lives, and the second I want to talk about my own life, they have to go and can’t talk anymore.  🙄

Makes it really hard when I’ve had a particularly bad day, or when I’m just not feeling quite up to snuff.  Not having anyone to vent to really is a problem for me.  So I might start using this space for that.  I mean, let’s face it.  No one actually reads this blog, so it’s really more for my own catharsis than it is for anything else, right?

Adventures in Crafting

My daughter is a wonderful young lady, she truly is.  She can be quite a handful at times, but for the most part, she’s pretty mellow.  But she’s also a great deal like my husband’s sister, in that she’s more interested in finding a way to make money than she is in finding a boyfriend or playing with makeup.  So tonight we started testing out recipes to make bath bombs and shower melts.  

Tonight’s recipe failed.  Epically.  Both the bath bombs and the shower melts.  But I believe the problem with the bath bombs was ours, and not the original poster, as I think she added too much witch hazel to it. But no matter, we’ll be trying again.  But, it’s also been fun, being able to just sit down with her, and not worry about what this person or that is doing/ saying, only looking at our phones to check the recipe instructions, instead of being totally consumed by social media and all of its “charms.”  

She’s excited to try again, to see if we can get the balance of dry to wet correct.  And then, if we can, we’ll invest in some soap colourant so we don’t dye ourselves pink or purple or whatever colour from food colour.  But it’s a learning experience for her, and that’s what I like.  It’s letting her know that it’s okay to fail, and that sometimes she’s going to fail, even that sometimes she NEEDS to fail, so that she can then appreciate when things work out and go her way.

As I mentioned before, she wants to try to earn money for herself, and this is one of the ways she’s trying out to do that before she’s old enough to get a real job.  And I’m going to encourage her to do exactly that.  She is bound and determined to be a successful, independent woman on her own.  This is definitely going to be an adventure with her.  🙂

Two for two!

So Monday, after my labwork in the morning, and a nice long nap after arriving back home, I took my car to the mechanic, who couldn’t look at it then.  I had lunch with the husband instead, and went to pick up V.  And she did it, she got her permit, and couldn’t stop smiling for HOURS after!

She was SO proud!  She didn’t get to drive immediately, as I had to take the car back to the mechanic, but I let her drive after we were done with getting it serviced.  I’m realising just how much my sister taught my Oldest to drive, because I don’t remember EVER being as high-strung when he was driving as I was Monday while she was!  lol

We went to an unoccupied parking lot to practice parking, and she... promptly mashed the gas instead of the brake, and ran up over parking bumper and ALMOST up onto the sidewalk in front of it.

I laughed, as I had done this exact same thing when my sister (the same who taught the Oldest to drive, in fact) was first teaching ME to drive!  But she got upset, because she thought she was going to get in trouble for it, and started to cry a bit, until I assured her that it was fine, and she could continue driving, but only if SHE wanted to keep going.  She did, and we went on.

This was taken as we were on our way home.  So far parking and turns seem to be her biggest problems, naturally, as she is just starting out, and she understands that this is the reason she won’t be driving all the way home from my work yet, but instead will be driving from a gas station much closer to the house instead.  And NOW she’s okay with that.  So she’ll continue getting practice each day, and Sunday, when I’m off work, we’ll go to a local community college and she can, once again, try to work on her parking and turning skills in a lot where she can’t do much harm to anything important.  lol

Otherwise, things are going well.  We’ll see if I can manage to continue keeping up with this blog.  Not that I expect anyone to be interested in it, I’m not a very interesting person, but I’m still going to try!  I have to work today, unfortunately, but it’ll be fine, and as usual I’ll get through it, because what else is there to do?  The husband leaves early Wednesday to work at a festival, and will be gone until Sunday, so it’ll be a nice, quiet end of the week and weekend for the rest of us.  Hope y’all have a great week!  🥰

Hmm...

It seems 2 years is the span of time I like to go between posts.  Or rather, nearly 2 years.  It was the end of March, 2017 when last I posted, so I guess a bit of catch-me-up is necessary.  Well, let’s see...

The Littles (neither of whom is very little any longer, lol) completed their first year of high school together at the same school.  They both were promoted academically, but my son, E, just barely.  So we spoke to the ESE counsellor for the district, and she strongly recommended we enroll him in the “regular” high school instead of the charter school, because they can give him much more help.  And that they have!  He started his sophomore year in August, and so far is only not doing so well in one class, and that one is, to the consternation of his father the certified chef, his culinary class!

Miss V is just astounding.  Every day there’s something new I notice about her to marvel at.  Despite coming from me (total tomboy, can’t do hair/ makeup for ANYTHING), she’s a wiz at both hair AND makeup, and has even started a blog to showcase her cosplay stuff.  She has her days when I want to strangle her, what teenage girl doesn’t, but most of the time she is the sweetest thing I could ever ask for.  And she’s even getting her driving permit later today, if you can believe that!

  

Oldest Son and his fiancée are planning a big move within the next 1-2 months, and will be taking my sweet baby girl away from me.  A whole 18 hours away from me, in fact!  But it’s for the best, and I know that, which is why I’m not going to cry too much about it just yet.  

As for that sweet baby girl, well!!!  She has just grown and grown!  She turned 2 at the beginning of this month, and is just the sweetest, smartest little thing!  She calls me Nonna, though sometimes she messes up and calls me mama, because that’s what the Littles and her daddy call me, and she calls G-pa just “Pa,” probably because her other grandfather is papa.  And other than mommy, who is her absolute favourite person in the world?  If you guessed me, you would be WRONG!

Her absolute favourite person in the whole wide world is her Uncle Squishy.  She ADORES him, and he her.  They are so cute together, it’s not even funny!  He’s sometimes the only person who can get her to calm down, even when mommy’s around!

As for the rest, well...  April of 2017 my father got into some trouble due to his dementia, and spent a couple months in jail before being put in the memory care ward of an assisted living facility down south.  He’s been there almost 2 years now, and is doing well.  Healthy as all get out, just with almost no memory.

We went and saw him while we were down there for my stepson’s wedding back in January, and though I’ve no doubt he didn’t remember any of our names, he did seem to know that we were related to him, and seemed genuinely happy to see all of us.  He kept saying “look how big you are!” to E, who is roughly 6’5” tall now, and kept hugging V.  It really was very sweet.  I’m trying to find the time (and money!) to go and visit him again in a few months, so that it’s not always a year between visits.

As for me, well, I let the husband, who had moved down south in October 2017 to deal with some family issues that arose in April and July of that year, move back in with us this past December.  It’s been difficult adjusting to having him around again, but it’s also been nice to have the extra help getting things done.  I suppose I should include a picture of myself in here, since I’ve never put one up, so here ya go.  This is from my stepson’s wedding back in January.

Thrilling, no?  I have a face, after all.  lol  Well anyway, I’ve been at my job,which is still only part-time, for nearly 2 years now, and I was moved from cashier to bakery, and I must admit, though it takes me quite a while to convince myself to leave the house every work day, I still go and even sometimes enjoy being there.  Which is better than how I felt as a cashier, believe me!  lol

So, I think that’s about it.  I have a busy day planned for today, so I should probably get to it.  Hope you all have a great one, too!  🙂

Keeping up

So, I'm trying to keep up with this whole blogging thing.  It's really not as easy as it seems.  I mean, you have to do stuff if you want to write, and frankly, going to work and school isn't very exciting.  I would love to be able to post about all the awesome amazing and fun things we're doing, but something tells me no one wants to hear about how I was able to change "marks" in Scrabble UpWords into "farts," which made us all collapse into a fit of giggles.  Yeah, it's funny, but...  I dunno, maybe I'm just not that good a writer.

I do love to craft, but I just haven't had the TIME to do any real crafting lately.  A while back I made a bunch of clothes for my grandbaby, but I have barely touched my machine since then, and that was well before she was even born!  But I'm still trying.  Maybe when things settle down, I'll be able to have time to do creative stuff, like sewing, crafting with the kids, or going neat places that deserve to be blogged about, but really I'm most concerned with just having a roof over my head and electricity to keep the food in the fridge good.  Well, who knows, maybe some day soon things will start looking up and I'll be able to spare time to do the fun stuff again.  Have a great night!

Wow...

Has it really been over two years since I wrote anything?  Seriously?  Well, it's not as if anyone actually reads this, or even cares what happens with me.  When I write it's more for catharsis than for any sort of blogging fame, so it really doesn't matter to me whether anyone reads it or not.  But so very much has happened since my last post.  The kids hogs sold, then the next year they raised three more, which also sold, though not quite the way we had intended, and then this year we opted not to raise any pigs, as we didn't have a proper pen any longer, nor did we have the money for their feed and general well-being.  But that's so very little of what all has been going on...

In August of 2015, I made the decision that I couldn't live with my husband any longer.  You see, he's an alcoholic, and refuses to even try to get help to stop drinking, and his drinking...  Let's just say there were many, MANY occasions where we were all walking on eggshells because he was drunk and raging about.  There were also several incidences of him thinking it was 4 or 6 in the morning and hauling ass "to get to work" at 11:30 at night (the day before he was supposed to work) because he had passed out drunk in the shower and couldn't understand the concept of "it's still night, no one has gone to bed yet, you're really NOT late to work" and so he flew out of the house, still stone drunk, and would drive the 40+ miles to work, only to arrive and be told that it was still night time and he didn't have to be at work for another 8-10 hours.  Yeah, I didn't feel I could allow my kids to have to deal with that anymore.  They didn't deserve it, and I didn't feel that I deserved the poor treatment I would get from him, especially when he was completely soused.

So I packed up some of the younger kids belongings, my oldest refused to go with us because he felt he still needed to "take care" of his dad when he got bad, and we started staying at my dad's house.  This worked out well for dad as well as for us, as not he had someone to boss around, but also someone to cook and clean for him, though admittedly I didn't always keep the house quite as clean as he would have liked.  That is, until it became apparent that his "minor memory issues" were anything but minor.  He started demanding I do things that I had no idea how to do (filing legal papers, writing quotes for jobs he was trying to bid on, things like that), and threatening to throw us out whenever I didn't comply with his every unreasonable demand.  But he would still leave and spend a week or more in South Florida, where his first home is, and so the kids and I had some time to unwind and not feel so rushed and threatened all the time.  But his memory got still worse, until a few months back his doctor diagnosed him with dementia.  My siblings and I have been trying to deal with his diagnosis, and his refusal to take medication to help it, ever since.  Now it looks as though we may have to put him in an assisted living facility, but I think we all knew that would be coming eventually.

So I tried to work things out with my husband on more than one occasion, but my condition was that he had to stop drinking completely, not just in the house, not just whenever we were home, there could be ZERO drinking, not in the car on the way home (yep, he drinks and drives, isn't THAT fun?), NONE, and though he would try, it would only last for a week, two weeks, MAYBE a month, but never for long enough to really make a difference.  Then recently, when I thought he was really giving it up again, I discovered that he has a girlfriend.  It fair broke my heart, because I was really hoping we could have one more chance, and maybe this time he really would stop, he would get the help he needed and we could be a family again.  I'm still not quite sure how I feel about this development, especially due to the fact that he's going to be 50 this year, and this woman is 28.  But I think this was the final straw that made me realise this marriage simply wasn't meant to be.  Which saddens me, because I do truly care for him, but maybe that's not enough to make holding on to a marriage worth doing.  But I don't hate him, and I probably never will, because he fathered two of my beautiful children, and I will forever be thankful for them.
For now though, we're still living at dad's house, but for the most part, barring a 2-3 day "visit" about every 1-3 months, it's just me and the kids.  Oh, yeah, about the kids...  It seems my family was destined to expand in a way I hadn't imagined happening at my age.  It turned out that my oldest, who moved back to be with us in August of last year, wasn't quite as careful as he could have been, and he got his girlfriend pregnant.  So she moved in with us around September, which meant he and his girlfriend were sleeping on an air mattress in the living room for a few months before I took pity on them and moved them into a bedroom.  It took some creative rearranging for the lot of us, as this isn't a very large house, but it has worked out fairly well.  And then, in early February, we were graced with the wonder of my very first ever grandbaby, a beautiful little baby girl.  And he and Mama kept with tradition and gave the baby a floral name, just like my sweet Miss V, who isn't so Wee anymore.  In fact, next August she will be in high school, I almost can't believe it!

I'm also currently going back to school, though I may need to take a break next semester to settle in to a few things, and I've gotten my first real job in about 13 years.  I'm not terribly good at it yet, but I'm getting there, so that's good.  It's just a part-time grocery store cashier position, but it's enough that I can pay a couple of bills and still have money left over for things like gas in my car and the occasional treat for the kids.  I'm being cautiously optimistic about it, because even though I am still applying for full-time jobs, this is a start.  And it will do for now, even if not forever.  And it definitely will not work forever, as I know I'll have to get a place of my own eventually, and that will require a full-time paycheck, for certain.

So, that's about it up here in rural north Florida.  Though there are many things I think I would like to change, since none of that is possible, I'll just have to make the best of what I have going on.  And that's okay for now.  :)