Away...

Well, it seems I've been away from here much longer than initially anticipated, and that is mainly because I still don't have a computer, never mind Internet, at home.  But I'm working on it.  I'm doing everything I can to try to get both within the next month or so.  I really need to as well, since I intend to try to open my online shop again.  I really need additional income, I'm not sure I can continue living on nearly-nothing each month.  But for now, I have the library close enough, and if I _REALLY_ get desperate, I can always use my phone.  Service at my house is spotty at best, but it's what I have.  That's all for now, I have email to check as well as other things to do.  Have a happy Monday evening!  :)

9/11...

12 years...

It's been 12 years since the events of 9/11/2001 left their mark on everyone old enough to realize what happened.  And in 12 years, so much has changed, but so much is still the same.  It's bizarre how that happens, isn't it?  A war was started, a war was ended, people blamed the ruling party in government for both, and neither was really at fault.  Oh, some could argue one way or the other, I'm sure, but honestly?  What's the point?  So where were you when you heard about the events of that tragic day?

I was laying in a hospital bed in Aurora, Colorado, having just given birth to my younger son two days before.  It was the day I got to take my sweet little bundle home from the hospital, and I was excited about it.  We'd been having a good morning, the sky outside my room window was blue with big, puffy white clouds, my little man had nursed like a champ, as he had since he was just 30 minutes old, and we were snuggling when some woman walked into my room.  To this day I don't know who she was or why she was in my room, but figuring she was a nurse or something, I greeted her with a cheery "Hello!" and a smile.  She stared at me with doleful eyes, then glumly said, "Oh...  Hello..."  I was confused by this greeting, after I had greeted her so cheerfully, and I asked, "What's the matter with you?"  She replied, in that same glum voice, "Oh, you didn't hear?  They blew up the Twin Towers.  Sorry."  Then this woman, who I didn't know and had never seen before in my life, turned tail, walked out of my room, and I never saw her again.  Figuring she was just some weirdo, I turned on the TV to prove to myself that she was some wacko, and it turned out she wasn't.  Well, she probably WAS, considering she walked into my room out of nowhere with all of this, but on that point, she wasn't wrong.  My heart hit the floor.  I tried calling my parents, my husband, everyone I knew.  I even called my work, where they had found a TV in a storage room and all the agents on the floor were watching in dumbfounded silence.  I think the worst part was that neither my parents nor my husband was answering the phone that day, which had me absolutely frantic trying to get in touch with them.  And being in Colorado, and so close to the mountains, there was concern that a plane might try to make a go at NORAD, the The North American Aerospace Defense Command, I suppose it was a legitimate concern.  All hospitals, schools, and government buildings were on lockdown, everyone was terrified of what could possibly happen next.

Over the next few days, things started to return to some semblance of normalcy, but the events of that day will always be indelibly etched into my brain and heart...

Moving...

My kids and I moved on Friday, 16, August. It was... Well honestly, to say it was one of the most stressful moves we've ever made would be a definite understatement! We left far later than we had wanted to, as the truck got there much later than anticipated, so we didn't actually arrive at the new house until about 2:30am on Saturday. And then the truck got stuck trying to get into my driveway, and it took over an hour to get it UNstuck, before we could start with the unloading. Which went surprisingly fast, considering how very long it took to load the darned thing! But once everything was in the house, we were able to settle down and sleep for a while. I think the kids fell asleep around 5am or so, but I couldn't manage to get to sleep until nearly 6am. But then we were all up and ready to go for the day by about 11am, go figure. That was when we started finding out all the things about the house that I think I would rather not know... But more of that later!

We spent the better portion of Saturday finishing our school clothes/ shoes shopping, getting food, and doing that sort of thing, then Sunday we went to get school supplies as well as a few essentials that I didn't already have because I left them at the other house for the boys there. And it was Saturday night/ Sunday morning that I realized my 11yo was definitely sick. >.< So he missed the first day of school to go to the doctor, was given appropriate medications to treat his malady, and he went the very next day. The Littles seem to enjoy their classes, which is good since most kids I know don't usually enjoy school, but the oldest... Well, he's an angsty teenager, he doesn't actually LIKE anything anymore! lol But he has expressed satisfaction with his schedule, and the fact that several friends are in many of his classes while his cousin is in none ( and believe me, for him that is DEFINITELY a good thing! lol) so maybe it won't be so bad after all. As for me... Well, I've been unpacking and trying to organize this place, all the while trying to figure out where I'm going to put things, how I'm going to get the rest of my furniture, which is currently at my parents house, to MY house, and slowly realizing how very much was left behind, things that are necessary and generally needed on an almost-daily basis, at that. Ah well, hopefully I'll manage to replace it all, but until then, I suppose I just have to keep doing everything I can to make what I have work, huh?

We've been here a little over a week and a half now, and I've still not managed to finish unpacking. The house is still full of bags, bins, and boxes that need dealing with. I think one of the reasons I haven't managed to finish unpacking is because I don't have the space for my craft stuff, and I really don't want to just toss it all into a closet or something. I want to be able to have it out and use it, since my craft stuff really is rather important to me. I mean, I really love making things, and this place is just about big enough that I can have a crafting area set up all the time, I just need to find a table so I can have it set up. And THAT is what's proving to be so difficult, finding a table to use. I know I will find one, it's simply a question of when, but until then my things remain in boxes, and that is so very frustrating. But I'll manage, I'm sure. After all, I always do! :)

Happy 10th birthday, my sweet little girl.

Today you are 10 years old.  It seems like it was just yesterday that you were a tiny little thing, though you were the biggest of my three babies, snuggled up in my arms.

You were a joy right from the beginning, though admittedly getting you here was a bit of a trial at first.

Ah, but I have never ever, not for a minute, wanted anyone other than you.  You are (most of the time) a joy to be around, such a wonderful little helper, and generally pretty cheerful.

 

Happy birthday, my sweet little girl.  It's hard to believe it's been ten years already, but proof is right there in front of me, for all to see.  :)

Rollercoaster ride of life...

Today has definitely been a rollercoaster ride of emotions for me.  Yesterday I was all upset because the place for rent that we had been looking at wasn't going to be ready in time, and that REALLY bummed me out, because we NEED a place to live that's close enough to the school for my kids to be able to go.  That sent me to bed unusually early for me (before 11pm!) which in turn had me awake at about 6:30 this morning.  I don't usually answer my phone before 10am, but then almost everyone knows not to try to call me before then, so it's generally not an issue.  But then about 9:15, I got a phone call from the man who owns the house I was looking at.  I didn't hear the phone ring, thanks to my phone being in "Do Not Disturb" mode until 10am, but I saw it shortly after that, and immediately called the man back.  He has another house for rent, and is willing to lower the rent so that we can afford it.  It's still $50 more a month than the other house, but it's bigger, way bigger from what I was told, didn't need nearly the amount of work the other place did, and this one has a FIREPLACE!!!  Ooh, I just LOOOVE fireplaces in houses, almost as much as I love two-story homes with beautiful stairway railings.  :D  So I found out all the information I could about the new place, including how much he wants down on it and all the rest, that there's no dishwasher (though there really is plenty of counterspace to install one, the kitchen is simply HUGE!), and several other things I needed to know about it, including the address, because that is a fairly crucial piece of information when you're trying to get utilities hooked up!  lol  Anyway, then, all of a sudden, completely out of the black, I was in a bad mood.  The worst part is, I don't even know WHY I was in such a bad mood, but I was.  And I still kind of am, which sucks, because I was in such a GOOD mood earlier!  But alas, such is life, yes?

Well, I have ONE more finger puppet to sew up and stuff tonight, and then I can package everything.  That's gonna be fun, since I have no boxes and no wrapping paper, but more importantly, no money to go out and BUY either!  So I guess I'll just have to make do with what I have on hand, little though that may be.  Eh, it's not so bad, I've done so before, and will very likely have to do so again.  I predict that this is not the end to the lean and scarce birthdays for my little Brood.  Not that I care very much, but...  Sometimes I wonder if the kids will look back on all the years that I made them birthday and Christmas gifts and say, "Gee, we must've been really poor back then.  Mom couldn't even buy us gifts, she had to MAKE them!"  I just hope, when they look back, that they see the love with which each piece was made instead.  And I hope, I truly hope, that my children will also develop and keep a sense of love for handcrafted items, enough so that not only do they buy them when they see them, but that they also want to make them, either for their own children and friends children, but also just because, and maybe to donate places as well.  And now, though I am not in quite such a bad mood anymore, I am still not feeling quite...  Right yet, either.  Ah well.  Likely I will soon enough.  I promise that I will post pictures of the things that I made for my sweet girl after she has opened all of her gifts tomorrow.  And what a day it's going to be, too!  :)

O.o

Tomorrow is my little girl's 10th birthday.  I am rather boggled at this.  Ten years, really?  WOW!  I can't believe it's been 10 years already.  I've made her a few presents (pics will follow after she has opened all of her presents) and I am just finishing up on one today.  I know I have to be insane though, because I am honestly thinking about trying to make her a skirt for tomorrow, despite the fact that I really do have no time to do so.  But I know me, and now that the idea is in my head, I'll be hard pressed to get it out.  I will do my best to post pictures once either she goes to bed tonight or after she has opened everything tomorrow.  This is going to be a fun day though, rest assured!  :)

Memories...

Growing up, I would hear stories of the things my mother made for my sisters and my brother. But for me? I have vague memories of a bathing suit that my mother made me, and that's about it. I have an afghan my grandmother made for me, complete with a crocheted monogram, but really, that's all. I guess that's just what happens when you're the youngest in a family of 6, and your parents first grandchild is born just a scant 10 months after you. I am not upset or bitter about this, not at all. I'm the youngest of six children for heaven's sake, and not just that, but also the last of four girls! To say my parents had their hands full would be an extreme understatement! But sometimes... Sometimes I find myself wishing I had had that closeness with my parents; that bond that just seems to be missing from my entire family...

So I am doing everything I can to make those good memories with my kids, so that they will remember them, hopefully fondly, when they're older and have children of their own. Crafting is wonderful, and I do enjoy it to be sure, but I need to constantly remind myself not to let it take over my life! It seems I have somewhat forgotten this in recent days, and now all I can to is strive to make it up to them. So please, don't be like me. Don't forget to play and have FUN with your children while they're still young enough to enjoy it and actually want you there with them. I'm not saying don't make them clothes or toys if doing so is something you enjoy, by all means do those things if they make you happy, but don't let doing those things make you lose sight of what really is more important, making memories with your child. You don't want your son or daughter to look back at their childhood and think, "I remember my mother/ father being there, but s/he was always tired, crabby, and just not fun to be around. S/he was always stressed out about finishing a project, meeting a deadline, or something else. Yeah, s/he made stuff for me, but... I think I'd rather not talk about that anymore. So, what's going I with..." Yeah, that's not exactly how I want to be remembered by my kids. I want my kids to remember the time we made Oobleck and they got to feel the liquid, yet solid properties of it. I want them to remember when we made play dough on the stovetop and they got to help kneed the different colours in. I want them to remember that trip to the Springs, when in the middle of the summer the water was so cold we could barely make it in past our hips, and our lips were almost purple when we finally got out to go home. Or that trip to the beach that took forever to get ready for, much less find, but that we enjoyed so much. I want them to remember the hand-crafted toys and gifts I have given them, certainly, but I think I would rather be remembered for the fun we shared together, I would rather they remember me actually being there, and not just remembering that I made things for them.

This whole post came about because I was talking to a friend today and I realized that I don't really have many pleasant memories of my parents from when I was growing up. I have plenty of memories of them being there, just sort of off in the background, but not really THERE there.  I have memories of bad things, like when my parents got into an argument or I got in particularly bad trouble for something, as I'm sure most people do, but yeah, there really aren't many FOND memories in there. I don't want that for my kids. I don't want them to look back and only see the fights, the arguments, all the terrible things. I want them to look back with fondness, and to try to give their children the same fun times, plus more if they can, and maybe a few handmade gifts here and there as well.