I suffer from terrible insomnia, among other things.  I believe it’s a side issue related to the bipolar disorder, but I haven’t proven that yet.  For example, right now it is 3:12am on a Thursday as I’m laying in bed writing this, and I find myself completely unable to sleep.  It’s a terrible affliction, insomnia, and it gets really old, really quick.  But there’s simply nothing I can do about it, since I can’t/ won’t take sleeping meds, due to my history with them not working and the horrible side effects they have on me.  So I’m trying to find more productive uses for my sleepless nights, but so far Netflix and Bejeweled have been my only companions on those nights when sleep alludes me.  

The problem with having insomnia is, though, that that’s also when all these thoughts start jumbling around in my head, and I just can’t make them stop.  And they get worse when I have no one to talk to, which is frequently the problem at times between 10pm and 8am.  Because once I’ve FINALLY fallen asleep, the next day I don’t generally remember any of what was going through my head the night before.  Not that I really have anyone to talk to during the day, either, but at least there are a couple better options than nothing and no one.  

So I’m thinking I might start writing here when I get these insomnia-driven thought-tornadoes going, and just save them until I feel like posting them.  Maybe it’ll be good for me to at least get the thoughts out, even though I know no one actually reads this thing.  So I’ll start now.

Earlier tonight, as I was sitting on the loveseat, which is my usual position when I’m not at the dining room table or in my bed, covered in kittens, and I started thinking that I want to start sewing again.  I used to sew all the time, but once I started working, I just lost track of it.  I still bought loads of fabric, I just never made what I bought the fabric to make.  So as I was sitting there, being used as a bed by Rocky and Lilum, I realised I miss sewing.  Oh, obligatory photo of cute kittens.  Because reasons. 

Rocky is the little black one in front, and Lilum is the calico behind him.  They both believe my chest is the best bed in the world.  lol

He wanted me to stop talking, I guess.  lol

Now back to what I was saying.  I’ll get these ideas, and then, the next day, if I actually remember them in the first place, I don’t want to do them anymore.  My sister says it’s the bipolar, that I’m having these manic moments when I can’t sleep, and then, the next day, the depression keeps me from accomplishing any of it. I guess it could be worse.  Creative tendencies shouldn’t be too difficult to handle, right?